Are you willing to ask for help when you need it?
How do you know when you are in trouble?
Last summer, I started coaching teams more regularly and had more high-profile business meetings. My wardrobe was good for my previous work environment and some business meetings, but not at the level in which I needed. What did I do? I called upon an expert, realizing one cannot be a jack of all trades. Alison Knox, a personal fashion stylist, styled me! Some thoughts I had in the process:
Well, this is embarrassing, I can’t even dress myself!
In the moment, that’s exactly how I felt but in actuality, it was wise to call on an expert! I now have a capsule-style business wardrobe that showcases my quirky personality in a professional way and clothes that travel well (a biggie in my industry as I travel roughly once per month).
So, why don’t we ask for help more often?
We live in a culture where being a lone-wolf or having your “ish” together 24/7 is normalized. Yet, underneath the surface of each individual, true confidence is typically not found. What is underneath our public demeanor instead is usually:
-Anxiety
-Depression
-Fear
-Doubt
We all experience those emotions regularly, and I only mention this to note, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. All that to say, I’ve noticed that successful people use those emotions to reach out to their community, do the tough emotional work of building truly resilient vulnerability, and ask for help when they need it.
Have you asked these questions recently?
Is this really the life path I want?
It is my birthday again. What did I accomplish this year?
Who am I? When I look in the mirror, I don’t recognize myself.
Successful people, such as my wonderful coaching clients who are doing the work, know they need other people’s expertise to get to where they want to go.
Successful people put their pride aside and realize they cannot get where they want by themselves.
Successful people value the journey of becoming a more emotionally intelligent human being and realize that asking for help is the first step.
So why do people refuse to lean on others for help?
I think many people don’t want to ask for help because of the exposing fear that comes with sharing where one is really at. It was embarrassing to realize I didn’t know how to properly curate a closet!
People are afraid that a little honesty will make their world fall apart and all those scary emotions I mentioned above will emerge. But the ugly truth is — those emotions will emerge either way! Paying attention and addressing them is a less painful path in the long run. Most are spending all their energy maintaining an image instead of diving into their inner world and essentially, asking the experts for help.
An alchemy happens and inner-strength emerges, when one is honest with themself.
An alchemy happens and inner-strength emerges, when one is honest with others.
I end, as always, with questions that I hope inspire and make you feel expansive and free as you enter the world today:
What truth is calling out to you right now?
Do you reach out to people when you need help?
What image do you cling tightly to, which actually needs to dissolve?
Sending you courage along the journey,
Ashlee
PS-
CONTINUE YOUR INNER-WORK + COME TO OPAL, CREEK OREGON THIS SEPTEMBER
-Tickets are all inclusive food, lodging, programming and the beautiful outdoors
-Learn from a Therapist, Coach and Spiritual Director
-Program is aimed toward folks who know the enneagram well + want deeper transformation
-Enneagram Subtypes and storytelling is our method